Strengthening the Family System: Our Most Powerful Strategy for Ending Gender-Based Violence

Every year, the world observes the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence (GBV), a global call to protect women, girls, and vulnerable groups from the devastating impacts of violence. Campaigns focus on legal reforms, public advocacy, and protective services. But while these interventions are crucial, we often overlook the most fundamental battleground in the fight against GBV: the family system.

If we are serious about ending GBV, not just managing its consequences then our homes must become the first, strongest, and safest line of prevention.

The Silent Epidemic That Begins at Home

GBV remains one of the most pervasive human rights violations worldwide. A significant proportion of these cases happen within intimate relationships and households. Research consistently shows that intimate partner violence accounts for the majority of reported GBV cases, revealing a distressing reality: the violence we fight publicly often has private origins.

This truth demands that we shift our attention from crisis response to root-cause prevention, starting with the family.

A Strengthened Family System is a Proven, Preventative Strategy Against GBV

As a marriage and family life counselor, I see first-hand that family health is not a “soft” social issue. It is the infrastructure of national development, the training ground for social behaviour, emotional intelligence, conflict resolution, and respect for human dignity.

When the family system is weak, characterized by poor communication, unhealthy gender norms, emotional instability, or power imbalance, the risk of violence increases. But when families function with mutual respect, shared responsibility, and emotional safety, the seeds of GBV cannot take root.

Core Pillars of a Family System That Prevents GBV

1. Shared Decision-Making & Balanced Power Dynamics

Healthy families operate as teams when decisions whether financial, relational, or domestic are shared. Research shows that violence thrives where power is concentrated and accountability is absent.

To prevent this:

• Encourage shared decision-making at home.

• Distribute household responsibilities fairly.

• Uphold the dignity and agency of every member of the household especially women and girls.

Actionable Tip: Educate boys and men early on the value, dignity, and equality of women. Gender respect is learned behaviour, and the home is the first classroom.

2. Positive Parenting & Evidence-Based Caregiver Programs

Studies consistently show that positive parenting programs reduce violence against both children and women simultaneously. Why? Because they reshape family interactions, build empathy, teach emotional regulation, and undo harmful social norms.

These programs help families:

• Replace punishment with communication.

• Promote mutual respect rather than fear.

• Model gender-equal behaviours that children internalize for life.

Governments and institutions that invest in parenting support are not doing charity, they are making strategic investments in public safety, national productivity, and long-term social stability.

3. Emotional Intelligence as a Protective Factor

Many forms of violence stem not from “anger,” but from poor emotional regulation, lack of empathy, and underdeveloped conflict-management skills. Strengthening emotional intelligence within the family reduces escalation, promotes healthier conflict resolution, and increases relational resilience.

Families thrive when members learn:

• How to express emotions without harm.

• How to listen without defensiveness.

• How to repair ruptures after conflict.

4. Breaking the Intergenerational Cycle of Violence

Children growing up in abusive homes often internalize violence as normal, even inevitable. They may become future perpetrators or future victims not because they want to, but because the family template they absorbed taught them so.

Strengthening the family unit interrupts this cycle by:

• Normalizing respect rather than dominance.

• Teaching collaboration rather than coercion.

• Modelling conflict without violence.

A violence-free future is impossible without violence-free homes today.

What Parents Must Understand

Your family is not just a private choice; it is the source code of society.

A child raised in a stable, emotionally intelligent home becomes:

• Less of a burden on social systems.

• Less likely to engage in violent or harmful behaviour.

• More likely to contribute meaningfully to society.

Parents play a frontline role. Modelling healthy relationships at home is one of the greatest gifts you can offer your children and one of the strongest shields against future GBV.

What Policy Makers Must Understand

If we want to reduce GBV at scale, then policies must protect and strengthen families not strain them.

Too often, government budgets and social workers are deployed to clean up the consequences of family breakdown: addiction, juvenile crime, domestic conflict, mental health crises. Meanwhile, preventive family support such as premarital education, financial literacy for couples, parenting training, and emotional intelligence programs receives the least attention.

This is a costly mistake.

The return on investment (ROI) for preventative family support is exponential.

We must ask policymakers: Are your policies treating family health as a marginal concern or as the foundational national asset it truly is?

To end GBV, governments must:

• Strengthen and enforce family-supportive policies.

• Reduce economic pressures that keep parents distant or exhausted.

• Invest in parenting, relationship, and emotional wellness programs.

• Partner with qualified family practitioners to design long-term interventions.

A nation that wants stability for 100 years must invest in the marriages and families being formed today.

As we mark the 16 Days of Activism, let this message be clear: Ending GBV Begins With the Home.

Ending GBV requires more than stronger laws. It requires stronger families.

Parents, partners, communities, and policymakers must work together to build homes that model respect, equality, emotional safety, and shared responsibility. This is how we create a future where violence is not merely punished but prevented.

As a Marriage & Family Life Counselor, my work is devoted to helping families build exactly this kind of foundation. If your family needs support in communication, conflict resolution, or building a healthier relational structure, help is available. A violence-free society begins with the choices we make at home today.



By Deborah Victor-Ayoola – Marriage & Family Life Counselor